maybe there's a reason i teach "first" grade.

there have been lots of firsts in my life lately.
first time to get married (and last) :)
first time to move away from home.
first time to be away from my family for more than 2 months.
first time to teach somewhere new.
first time i haven't seen my family at church every single sunday.
first time to have a new church.
first time i haven't seen my sister at school.
first time making new friends in years.
first time being the "new one" in town.
first time wearing a ring chrissy gave me. :)
it would be a lie if i said it wasn't hard.
i miss so much about my home. my first home. my first everything there.
but there has been grace in this first time. this first time has come with change.
so is it my first?
i guess you could say, i could have started all over. i could have been someone i am not.
i could have pretended that i was perfect in every way and had it all together.
i could have, but i'm not.
there is something that is not my first.
it's knowing God's promises.
it's seeing then fulfilled in small ways in my life.
it's trying to rely on God's grace moment by moment and not for the next day or next hour.
so this could be a first.
a first lesson on something God wants me to unlearn.
unlearn relying on myself.
relearn trust.


ps.
i love teaching here. it's been more than i could have asked for.