miss and mrs.

some things in life change, some change without you knowing them and some change comes with time, while other change is expected. the change that is expected is almost hard sometimes because there are so many things that you anticipate. i anticipated so many things when i was engaged and in Belton. i wondered how my life would turn in out in a big city in bowling green. i knew that marrying bobby wasn't going to be difficult. but i knew that starting over would be in some ways.
i was so comfortable in belton and so use to life in a slow, small town. i was comfortable with the people i worked with and i always new what they thought and believed. my work was a hop, skip, and a jump away. literally. i have walked there before. everyone knew me. i was comfortable in my church. i knew my place there and what was expected of me there. i knew my friends in an out. they knew me in and out, and they STILL do. that's the best part about them. i was comfortable with my family. there were ALWAYS there. a drive away. something has to be said about change. it breaks you apart from things that are familiar. it causes you to trust more even though you feel like doubting. it causes you to start over. change has been good for me. belton will always be my home. it will have my heart as my hometown. there's nothing like being in a small town and knowing everyone. but starting over. that's tricky. it's almost tempting to resent when things happen in your new environment with friends, work, school, whatever. it's tempting to say if i was there....then....but the reality is that change has come. change will always be a part of my life i feel like. i feel like this is only the beginning. making relationships that are more than about you. more than what can i get from this? it forces you to invest in the other person because well, if we're going to be honest, you want them to like you. but then, it suddenly becomes about me again. the relationships i have here are different. i heard someone say, it's weird to hear your name as meagan butler because i only know you as meagan reynolds. so in belton, i am miss butler but here i am mrs reynolds. funny, huh. it's almost like two different lives. some people know me in a way that they have always known, and if we're going to be honest, it's most of who i am. the things that have happened have shaped my life as meagan butler and now ultimately affect my life as meagan reynolds. the bottom line of this whole thing is, well. i don't really know what. but there is one thing that is standing out in my mind. no matter where i am, if i am never around another person i know ever again, i can always rest in the fact that i have a God who IS. who holds my past present and future. who knew all the anticipation i would have in this change and who is now allowing me to see how i can trust Him. why anticipate when God is soverign. because i am a sinner. but greater than that Christ is living to plead for me and i have Christ's Righteousness. Thank you God, for that. Thank you for leading me all the way. For bringing me to where I am now physically, spiritually, mentally, and just this place. this time in my life. this time of exciting change. this time of changing my perspective on relationships and how the gospel is the main point of all my being in everything that i do. change or no change. for molding my friendships in You. for protecting me in all things. for being Bigger than change. for giving me good gifts in change, for bobby mostly. for your grace that you show me daily in all changes in my life as meagan butler and meagan reynolds.